


it's always been you

by orphan_account



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Ruining History (Web Series)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexual Shane Madej, Asexuality Spectrum, Bergara Guitara, Bi Ryan Bergara, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural, Buzzfeed Unsolved True Crime, Domestic Fluff, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Gay Panic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oblivious Ryan Bergara, Protective Ryan, Ruining History, Ryan Bergara Being an Idiot, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Shane Being an Asshole, Shane Madej Loves Ryan Bergara, Shane Madej/Ryan Bergara - Freeform, Shane plays piano and is learning ukulele, Some Humor, The Ghoul Boys (Buzzfeed Unsolved), Trans Male Character, Trans Shane Madej, he knows how to play but won't admit it, i say learning with big ass air quotes, no i haven't forgotten
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23252881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ruining History got cancelled, and Shane may or may not have a lot of feelings that he's bottled up about it.(I literally just rewrote a Supergirl fanfic into this causeI'm t r a s h)TW: just,,, just generally. there's no like death/suicide or self-harm, but there's some existentialism and kinda negative thoughts, and car crash mentions, so just,,, be warned(title from Goodmorning by Bleachers!)
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 5
Kudos: 69





	it's always been you

**Author's Note:**

> yay, another angsty fic that i probably won't finish!! hope you like it tho lads

Shane was tired of everything.

He had a good reason to be, too, though if you asked him, he would simply say that he was over-reacting.

His show got cancelled.

His own little passion project that he poured hours into researching for and writing for and finding guests for. The show that he loved making, loved working on- hell, he loved just animating it- just gone. Just like that. 

He felt tears begin to fall down his cheeks and decided that he should just go home. After all this, all he wanted was to just wrap up in a blanket and pretend that he had someone to comfort him. That’s why he kept so many pillows on his bed; the weight made him feel like he had someone there. He didn’t always want to be the funny one, the guy who knew how to calm anyone down, sometimes he just wanted to feel protected and loved.

_ But that was clearly too much to ask of the world. _

He got up from his desk after everyone else had left the building, throwing his backpack over his shoulder and pushing back tears. Now wasn’t the time to cry, he had a fifteen minute drive ahead of him and he didn’t want to crash someone else’s car because his eyes were all clouded.

He started to walk towards the elevator when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He flinched back violently, almost hitting the person in the face as he turned to see who it was. The shaking that had started hours ago just grew worse as he shouted, “Who the fuck-“

Ryan backed away, hands raised in surrender. “Woah, woah, hey, It’s just me.”

“Agh, shit, sorry Ryan.” Shane sighed, running a hand over his face.

“It’s alright, I’m a used to it,” Ryan said with an awkward chuckle. “Anyways, I, uh... just wanted to check on you. You’ve seemed a little on edge today and you look like you were just crying. Is everything okay?”

Shane blinked. _He always wished that someone would check up on him, but he never imagined that it would actually happen. What should he say? Should he say that he was fine? Should he tell him the truth? He was trying to be more open and honest now, but he really didn’t want Ryan to worry, especially not about him, that would just be a waste of emotional energy. Yeah, he should just say that he was fine-_

“Uh, Earth to Shane.”

There was a hand waving in front of Shane’s face.

“Oh, sorry, zoned out-“ He managed, trying to regain his prior demeanor.

“Gee, hadn’t noticed.” Ryan responded. He touched a hand to Shane’s shoulder, sending what felt like an electric shock straight up his spine. He almost flinched, but he didn’t seem like he didn’t want to be touched.

Ryan gave his friend a look of slight pity, and he decided to be as gentle as he could with him tonight. He clearly was having a rough time.

“Hey, how about this, you can stay at my place tonight. No pressure, of course, but you just seem like you need somebody.”

Shane’s shoulders slumped and he broke out into a tired smile, his eyes drooping a bit. “Yeah... Yeah, that’d be nice. Thanks.”

“Of course, man. C’mon.” Ryan dragged Shane with him to grab up his stuff, causing Shane to make some stupid height difference joke that he hardly remembered.

Ryan laughed, a kind and wonderful sound echoing through the mostly-empty building. His laughter became contagious, and Shane found himself laughing as well, staring at the shorter of the two with adoration and happiness in his eyes as they exited the building.

The drive to Ryan’s house wasn’t exactly bad, just... quiet. Shane didn’t talk much, he just vaguely hummed with the radio and laughed at some little jokes Ryan made. For the most part, he found himself zoning out while watching the road. He remembered being told that watching the road would alleviate carsickness, so he figured that if Ryan asked why he was staring at the road, he could just claim carsickness.

Ryan found himself growing more and more worried about Shane, constantly glancing at him and trying to make sure that he was at least a little bit okay.

_I can’t tell what it is, but something definitely took a toll on him_ , he thought. He wanted to just pull his friend into his arms and hold him tight to remind him that even if everyone else leaves, he’ll still be here, but he couldn’t do that on the road, so he just had to wait until they got to the apartment.

They arrived not long after, and the two went in mostly quietly, save for some shuffling feet on the concrete.

Shane immediately sat himself on the couch, all the tension in his shoulders simply deflating. He hadn’t been over in a couple weeks, he’d almost forgotten how comfortable the couch was.

“You wanna order a pizza or something?” Ryan asked after a beat of silence.

“Hmm? Oh, sure,” Shane flashed a smile over the kitchen counter, causing Ryan’s heart to melt just that little bit more. “But if we don’t get DiMaggio’s i’m walking home.” He joked, reiterating his statement with a point towards Ryan.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s-“

“Authentic but not expensive!” The two said at the same time, causing them both to start laughing.

Ryan walked past the kitchen and sank into the couch next to Shane. “Wanna watch something in here or in my room?”

“Your room has the DVD player.” Shane pointed out, starting to rummage through his backpack.

“Yeah, but I don’t own any- What the hell, why are there DVDs in your bag?”

“I keep them with me,” Shane stated, “for if I end up staying here or at Sara’s.”

“And you never thought to mention it?” Ryan asked with a disbelieving laugh.

“We always had something on Netflix.” Shane’s nonchalant tone was broken with a chuckle of his own. “But I’m feeling like watching Clue tonight, and if that was on Netflix, I would know.”

“Okay, well, I’ll order the pizza, you take a shower and get ready for bed.” Ryan stood with a smile, reaching for Shane’s hand to help him up. "And please, for the love of god, remember to take off your binder this time."

Shane took his hand and stood as well, a laugh escaping his lips. “Yeah, yeah, okay mom.” He joked as he began walking away.

He heard Ryan dial the pizza place and start ordering as he stepped into the bathroom.

Maybe tonight, he could feel like himself again.


End file.
